Thursday, January 28, 2010

Crying it out is NO fun!

So it is 2:30am and I can't sleep. Why, you might ask yourself. Well, I have a 13 month extremely stubborn but absolutely adorable little boy who has been on an awful sleeper since he was born. We have tried, I feel like I should capitalize tried to get him on a schedule to no avail. I have read all the books, tried different methods but nothing so far has seemed to work. I finally gave up trying once the neighbors started stomping all night and Shawn needed good sleep for his interviews. I have been trying to appease everyone. But Jack's sleeping schedule has become so out of whack that something needed to be done. He basically got in a habit of waking up from 3-6am every morning with several awakenings before and after. It was awful! I have been a walking zombie barely functioning. My appetite has not existed because I have barely had enough energy to feed and take care of Jack yet a lone myself. Sleep deprivation has literally affected every aspect of my life. The other day I pretty much had a melt down and decided that I could not keep living like this. It has really started to destroy every aspect of my life.

So Shawn went up and had a nice "friendly" conversation with our neighbors about Jack crying it out. Up until now I have just felt so bad about keeping everyone up. Basically he told them that we have to let Jack cry so they are just going to have to deal with it. So our journey with crying it out begins (really for the second time as I tried this when Jack was around 6 months for two weeks).

Through this whole experience of Jack not sleeping. I have learned a lot of life lessons that will hopefully make me a better person. I won't list all of them because I have learned a lot (I was listing them off to my mom tonight). But the biggest lesson I have learned is NOT to judge people and their parenting skills. Usually, parents are doing their best but kids come a certain way. Jack is such a happy boy but even throughout my pregnancy and labor he was stubborn. This personality trait seemed to follow him throughout his first year of life and I am sure it is not going anywhere. I hope that he is able to use this trait for good and that he will be able to hold his ground during hard times especially against peer pressure when he is a teenager. Another lesson I have learned is that there is a time to talk and a time to listen. Usually side on the err of listening. We all want to help each other and share the plethora of knowledge we have acquired through our studies and experiences but sometimes LISTENING is truly GOLDEN. On the other hand I am extremely grateful for friends and family that have talked and given me advice. They have talked me into action and have given me the motivation I need. So hopefully, this will work and I can try to claim my life back. Wish me good luck, I will need it!
P.S. It still kills me when Jack cries. I just love him so much and want to comfort him but I now this is the best thing long term.

Because I don't keep a good journal I want to record how this process works for us. Really, I just want Jack to someday really appreciate us:) and know that parenting is not always easy.

Jack's doctor was consulted and confirmed that Jack is a very healthy boy who needs to cry it out for as long as it takes. Our poor neighbors. They hate us but I can't blame them. I would hate us too.

Jack's journey to a full night of sleep:
Thursday night: Jack went down at 8pm. Did his whole routine and went down without a peep. He usually goes down no problem. He woke up around 9:30pm and cried until 12:30am. Slept for a hour and woke back up at 1:30am and started crying. Now it is 3:30am I think he has finally stopped crying. So I am off to bed. Okay, he woke up again but I am still off to bed. I will update this as the hours and nights SLOWLY pass by.

Would it be hard for you to let this cute face cry it out all night?

13 comments:

Kristin said...

That photo of Jack in his crib is absolutely adorable! I hope you are both getting some good sleep very soon. (We'll pray for you!)

Bruce and Christie said...

oooh such a sad face :( That'd be very to watch! Good luck and I hope you start getting lots of sleep!

amy said...

Oh poor you, Marti. I am proud of you for being so strong....I know it's sooooo hard. I wish I could have been there when Shawn talked to the neighbors! Maybe you could give them a gift like cookies and earplugs? Keep it up, you are doing great. Abby says "I would just drug him." Abby has a little of Uncle Steve in her. ha ha

becca said...

marti.
you are a trooper...I don't know how you have stayed alive this long on that little of sleep! I agree it is sooo hard to let your little one cry and makes your heart hurt...but it will save your life to get more sleep!! (in the END it is all worth it, but it is so hard to get there)
hang in there!!
hope he sleeps well soon.

Let the Good Times Roll said...

Oh Marti,

That is so painful. I hate making babies cry it out. When Lance cried it out it broke my heart, it was so hard to let him cry and not go in and comfort him. I am so proud of you for doing this though. I am sure it will be extremely hard right now but in the long run definitely worth it. Hang in there. I had a friend whose husband made her sleep at the neighbors house while their son was crying it out so she wouldn't have to hear it... maybe you could do that this weekend since Shawn won't be in school? GOOD LUCK! Love ya babe.

Stacey said...

Texas?! Wow! How fun. I hope you guys love it.

I feel for you with Jack. Our new one isn't the greatest sleeper and crying it out is not something that I think will end up working with her. Mostly because if she cries, you can't calm her down again by patting her belly or talking to her like they tell you to. You have to hold her. I can't imagine what you've gone through all this time. I hope it works, but they definitely have their own personality!

Being sleep deprived makes you a completely different person!

The Parks Family said...

Good luck and keep it up! I remember crying just as hard as Jaxson when I had to do the same thing with him but I have been grateful ever since! He's adorable by the way!

Janelle Ehat said...

Oh man! That's the worst! We are there with my little one right now and he isn't one of the kids that cries for 30 minutes the first night, 15 the next, 5 the one after that and then he's done. He screams bloody murder for over two hours every time he wakes up! Luckily my other 4 kids are zombies when they sleep and don't ever wake up but it breaks my heart. Good luck to you guys! And know that you aren't alone!

*and BTW he is one of the most ADORABLE little guys on the planet! I'm loving his super blonde hair and happy eyes! What a doll!

Miche said...

Oh hang in there! the most important thing is sticking to your guns! The minute you "rescue" him from the crying it gets worse. Maile has always had a hard time settling in as well. We bought a big bed finally and we've had to resist all her adorable pleas to "snuggle mommy in her bed". so hard! But ours only lasted about a week and now she's doing great. It will see how long it takes Jack. Hopefully he'll learn soon. You're doing the right thing! :)

Jeff and Rach said...

Agreed. This is one of the hardest parts of parenthood (so far). Good luck! We just finished doing this with my 9 month old. It won't take as long as you think it will. I would say a week tops, most likely just 2 or 3 days. And if he is a binky guy then you get to do this all over again when you take it away. :)

He is adorable, but don't give in, not even once. And I am sure the books have told you, but do the same routine at the same time every night. We do a bath, lotion him with the same smelly lotion, then a bottle, then straight to bed without talking to him (after the bottle). Pretty soon you can substitute the bottle for a book.

And it might sound weird, but put him to bed sooner like between 6:30or 7:30. That made all the difference with my baby.

Heidi said...

I hate being sleep deprived so I'm surprised you lasted this long! I would have requested ambien for my kid long ago. ha ha. :)

Good luck with the crying out stage. It's not fun, but it's what I've done at times for my kids. I hope he learns quickly so you (and the neighbors) can get some good sleep.

Kelly said...

Oh those eyes...keep stong Marti! I am rooting for you:)

Becky Slivka said...

Oh Marti good luck!! I think crying it out is the worst and it's so much harder when they can call your name and stand by their crib, but good for you to do what's best for you. I think it's so easy to get into appeasing everyone as a mom. Good luck, I hear you - my angel sleeper Heidi is starting to cry it out too, I can't sleep when she does, so maybe I'll join you and we'll chat in the middle of the night.